Setting: lying in my bed

Song: Lit Up, The National

Note: It is obvious what influenced the topic of this specific post but know that I am not specifically talking about the person who influenced it. It is going to be a generic idea that [I think] happens to everyone. 

Today was the first time I really wanted to talk to Jack. However, it was not to confront him about his cowardly ways. We had this habit of stalking people together. Sometimes we were together, stalking from the same computer. But at college maybe we would be on the phone stalking from separate computers. Or it would be me, updating him on things I found. There were certain people that we would always check up on. Today, something big happened on one of our prime profiles and I had no one to tell who would appreciate it! Because we, apparently, don't talk anymore, I resort to other people who I know are avid facebookers as well. One of my go-to's is Jack's best friend who I was never good friends with, but whateva we have facebook to bring us together. 

So my topic today was brought to my attention in 8th grade by a little artist by the name of Stacie Orrico. She sang 'I hate you but I love you I can't stop thinking of you. It's true, I'm stuck on you'. Colleen and I loved this song. Why? Because it happens so often. You start liking someone, and you get so used to liking them that you're 'stuck' on them. You almost forget what life was like before you were stuck on them. It doesn't even have to be a result of a relationship. In fact, sometimes the worst 'stuck' situations are when the line between friend and more than friend has never been crossed. What ever position you are in, it is an awful situation. Suddenly this person is consuming all of your thoughts. You listen to a song and somehow it relates to this person. You hear the person's name and your heart sinks, even when it isn't in reference to the person you are stuck on. You go on facebook and they are on. You think of a thousand things to text him/her throughout the day but you don't want to come across as over-bearing. And lastly, the worst of all, the time before you go to bed when all you can do is think of situations or conversations that will never happen. Lying in your bed wondering, hoping they are in the same position as you are in right now. 

On a different level, the song 'Lucky You' by The National comes to my mind. For a long time I kept singing "you want me, lucky you". Then I looked up the lyrics and found that the real meaning of the song is much different from what I thought. The song goes:

"Every time you get a drink

and every time you go to sleep

are those dreams inside your head is there sunlight on your bed

and everytime you're driving home

way outside your safety zone wherever you will ever be 

you're never getting rid of me

you own me

there's nothing you can do 

you own me

[and the last four lines go]

But no one's in your head

Cause you're too smart to remember

You're too smart

Lucky you"

I'll let you interpret these lyrics. I suggest you look it up on youtube right now.

For the times when you feel like Stacie Orrico remember that everyone feels like you.

Lucky you, you are not alone.